Delayed Gratification Is the Most Critical Money Skill Your Child Can Learn
“Waiting sounds basic, but it’s far from simple to put into practice. As a certified financial planner, I know that many people spend their entire lives struggling to wait — a habit that is at the root of all kinds of financial problems, from impulsive spending and overblown budgets to reaching retirement age with no savings.”
Delayed gratification — the ability to resist an immediate reward in favor of a more valuable one later — is the most important skill you can teach your child to set the stage for their financial wellness.
Waiting sounds basic, but it’s far from simple to practice. As a Certified Financial Planner®, I know that many people spend their entire lives struggling to wait — a habit that is at the root of all kinds of financial problems, from impulsive spending and overblown budgets to reaching retirement age with few or no savings.
I am not perfect. Delaying gratification has not come easy for me because of my ADHD, a condition marked by impulsivity and dopamine-seeking. Still, I have slowly but surely gotten better at waiting. As ADHD and financial problems are linked1, it’s safe to assume that children with ADHD may benefit from practicing the essential skill of waiting. It’s never too early to start.
[Read: Great Ideas for Teaching Your Children to Manage Their Dollars and (Spending) Sense]
Delayed Gratification: How to Teach Your Child to Wait
- When-Then. Granting video game time for completed homework is one way to teach the valuable skill of waiting, as is an ice-cream run for finished chores.
- Use goal-specific allowance jars. Help your child create a short-term goal jar for small rewards (like a sweet) and a long-term jar for big-ticket items (like a new video game or a special outing.) Seeing the jars side by side can help your child visually understand the trade-offs between immediate and delayed rewards.
- Introduce waiting periods for spending their allowance. For instance, if your child wants a toy, they should wait one week for every $10 it costs. This will teach them that expensive things often require more patience and planning.
- Offer matching contributions. For every dollar your child saves, reward them with another at the end of the year.
- Model delayed gratification: When making a big purchase for the family, talk about why you’re saving for it and how you’re making trade-offs to reach your goal.
- Discuss the pitfalls of comparison, especially the ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ dynamic often seen on social media. Explain how this can fuel unhealthy comparisons and distort perceptions of money and wealth. Help your child understand that what they see online doesn’t always reflect reality or wise financial decisions.
How to Teach Kids About Money: Next Steps
- Read: Mo’ Problems? Raising Smart Spenders (and Savers) with ADHD
- Read: “The Expensive Lessons We’ve Learned About In-App Purchases”
- Read: How to Teach Teenagers About Money
The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Smart Money Habits for People with ADHD” [Video Replay & Podcast #522] with Otto Rivera, CFP®, EA, which was broadcast on September 24, 2024.
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